Revenge Is Sweet
by carcrasheart
Summary: one-shot. A prank is played on Draco Malfoy, but nobody embarrasses a Malfoy and gets away with it! Draco wants revenge. this is my first fic. please R&R.


Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, duh.

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**Revenge Is Sweet**

It was the day after the end of sixth year; Hermione Granger sat on her bed in her muggle house with the air conditioner blasting. Ron Weasley and Harry Potter were sprawled out on the floor.

"I'm bored" Ron said for about the millionth time that day.

"Ron when are you not bored?" asked Harry.

Hermione however, was deep in thought, she was plotting. Suddenly, her head snapped up, she had a devious grin on her face. "I have an idea! You know how Malfoy accidentally," she made air quotes, "spilled pumpkin juice on me the other day?"

"Yea, I still can't believe you wouldn't let us beat the shit out of that little ferret face! Accident my ass!" Ron exclaimed.

"Well that seemed a bit drastic, but I still want revenge. He ruined my favorite shirt!"

"What's your plan?" Harry inquired.

"Come closer, the walls have ears." They leaned in and Hermione revealed the results of all her plotting. By the time she was finished, they all wore matching grins.

"That's brilliant Hermione!" Ron exclaimed excitedly.

"Awesome," Harry agreed. "Let's do it."

Hermione transfigured her clothes and face so she wouldn't be recognized. Then, despite the sweltering heat, she lit a fire. She grabbed a pinch of floo powder and sprinkled it over the flames. Leaning into the green fire she shouted "Malfoy Manor."

-- ♥ --

Draco Malfoy sat in an oversized green armchair sipping a large glass of water when suddenly a head appeared in his fireplace. It was a woman. She had bleach blonde hair with pink streaks. She was wearing a low cut black tank top that showed way too much cleavage and a ton of makeup.

'_Who is this tramp?'_ Draco thought to himself.

"Hello may I please speak to Mister Draco Malfoy?" She asked in a sickeningly sweet, girly, high-pitched voice.

"Speaking" Draco replied bored.

"This is Judy from Pleasure Planet calling to confirm the purchase of one Deluxe Male Enhancement Package."

"What the fuck?!" Draco quickly extinguished the fire with his glass of water.

-- ♥ --

"Oh my gosh! You should have seen his face!" Hermione exclaimed as she backed out of the fireplace. They were all laughing hysterically. "That little ferret didn't know what hit him!"

"Oh man I wish I could have seen that" Harry said. Ron however, was preoccupied.

"Hermione I think you should change back to normal so Ron will stop staring at your chest." Harry said.

Hermione transfigured back to her normal form and Ron's head snapped up. "I was not staring!"

"Yes you were" Harry and Hermione countered simultaneously, and then started laughing again.

-- ♥ --

Draco sat stunned for several minutes, then when his brain started functioning properly it took him another couple of minutes to figure out that he had just been pranked. '_This will not do,_' he thought. _'What kind of self respecting Malfoy would I be if I let this childish prank go unpunished?'_

It took a few hours, many of his father's Ministry connections, and two crying Ministry employees but finally Draco traced the floo call. _'Granger! That damn mudblood! She will pay…' _

Draco didn't waste much time plotting. He decided he would simply scare the shit out of Hermione. He waited until well after midnight to ensure that Potter and Weasel wouldn't be there to heroically save the day.

-- ♥ --

Ron and Harry had gone home, and Hermione had her nose buried in _Hogwarts A History_. She didn't even notice when her fire sprang to life and Draco Malfoy stepped into her room.

"Always the bookworm, honestly Granger do you have a life?"

She looked up startled but had no chance to reply or even reach for her wand as he stunned her.

When she woke up she found herself chained to a wall in, she assumed, Malfoy Manor. She was beyond terrified. _'Oh that was a stupid idea! I shouldn't have pranked him! I should have known he could trace it back to me! Stupid, stupid, stupid…'_ She began banging her head against the wall.

"Now, now Granger. Don't do that! This wont be any fun at all if you beat _yourself_ unconscious."

Hermione was still scared but she found her fear was slowly drifting away as she looked up at Draco. _'Wow! When did Draco get so hot? What the fuck?! Draco?! I mean Malfoy! And he is in no way hot! Nasty ferret face… but he has gorgeous eyes…'_

-- ♥ --

For just a minute Draco's stone cold mask slipped. He was in awe. _'Is that really Granger. The bookworm? The mudblood?! Where has she been hiding her figure? All those curves… curse those baggy school robes! Wait! What am I thinking? This is Granger for Merlin sakes!'_

He quickly put his mask back up, thankful that Hermione hadn't seemed to notice. "I bet you thought that was real funny, didn't you Granger? You will pay for your childish prank."

Suddenly her anger flared and she let her Gryffindoor bravery shine through her fear. "Let me go Malfoy! I swear I will hex you back to before they invented hair gel! How would you possibly survive?"

"You have got far too much of that Gryffindoor bravery! We'll just have to fix that now, wont we?" He stepped closer until their noses were almost touching and looked her straight in the eye.

That was his worst mistake. _'God her eyes are beautiful.'_

-- ♥ --

Hermione sighed inwardly. _'Oh he looks even better up close!'_

They both felt their control slipping and discarded their masks. They leaned in and their lips crashed together in a bruising kiss. Draco ran his tongue over Hermione's lower lip and deepened the passionate kiss. Wandlessly he undid the chains holding her to the wall and ran his fingers through her hair. He pulled back and looked down into her eyes.

"Granger, you will be punished!"

_'Oh god…'_

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the end. please review. 


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